Issue #24: Make a Garden
"If you want to be happy for a year, get married. If you want to be happy for a decade, get a dog. And if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a garden." - Martha Stewart
Last week, I rewatched the Martha documentary on Netflix with my friend Tiffany because she hadn’t seen it yet. Just after the documentary on Martha Stewart first came out, I was having a bubbly lunch with some friends in their late 30s. We are all a part of the generation who watched our mothers work and take care of the home – very Martha Stewart-like. I thought perhaps I was the only one who felt completely in awe of Martha after the documentary, but they all were, too, and we were listing some of the iconic quotes. There are two which stuck with me. The first is, “If you want to be happy for a year, get married. If you want to be happy for ten years, get a dog. If you want to be happy for life, make a garden”. The second comes toward the documentary's end about change when she says, “Change that garden if you don’t like it. Rip it out, and you start all over again”.
Over December and January, I have been making my garden. I think both literally and figuratively.
As children, my sister and I used to hate going to the nursery with my mother to buy plants. I didn’t mind ‘helping’ her in the garden so much, but the nursery part was a drag. Now, you can’t keep me away from a nursery visit. My sister has caught the bug, too.
During lockdown, part of the reason I wanted to buy a house was so that I could have a garden. I had attempted to keep houseplants and other pot plants on my balcony alive, but not with the greatest success. In my mind, the magical solution to my lack of green thumbs was to have a garden.
I built up a garden at my new house and was relatively successful at keeping things alive. The magical solution was actually patience, consistency, and curiosity. I had to learn about all the plants I was planting, the type of soil in my garden, and what it all needed.
At the end of 2022, a hailstorm decimated most of my garden. I had to start afresh. This came at the same time that I decided to change my career. It was also at the lowest point in my long covid journey. It became a new source of growth for me.
There is a lot of symbolism in my garden. I have my pots for my POTS. I have recently built a raised bed to grow veggies and herbs to nourish me. It is both grounding and connecting to work with the soil and plants. The garden itself is about growth and thriving.
Sometimes, I can get overly attached to plants and think of them as little beings. I always feel bad when it comes time to rip them out. I will wait until there is absolutely not a single bit of hope for any green shoot to come back before I do it. I always think that I can fix or save it. As Martha says, “Change that garden if you don’t like it”. This week, I ripped out a huge Mexican Bush Sage because it was suffocating my other plants, and I needed space in my garden for new growth. If it doesn’t work, then rip it out…
So, I have been making my garden. Deciding what to rip out and what to keep. Growing things from seed and nurturing the plants I love. It requires patience and consistency. Constant watering (unless there has been relentless rainfall like we’ve had in Joburg for the past few weeks), regular pruning and weeding, and nourishing with compost and fertiliser (I only recently learned there is a difference!).
When Martha Stewart says, “make a garden”, you can literally make a garden or think of it as something else of your own. Making some aspect of your life to grow and nourish and be a constant for you.
So make a garden this year, whatever that might mean for you.
Ax